Weddings

We thought we were done with this long ago. Weddings, that is. One year we went to five weddings including two where Beth was in the bridal party. Everyone we knew was married. Or married again. Or wasn’t ever going to get married. Life was good.

Now look what’s happened. We know three couples getting married. We have not been formally invited yet since we haven’t received any invitations, but we’ve been asked to keep some dates clear. Invited indeed.

So, this post is going to be a little public service - to the people getting married. We’ve been married for quite some time and have had plenty of time to ponder the act of marriage – specifically, the wedding - so we’ll give you our thoughts here. Oh, we have nothing to say about marriage after the wedding day. You’re on your own there, but as for the wedding, here goes.

To first understand the wedding, you must understand its symbols and origins. The main symbol of the wedding is, of course, the ring. Some mistakenly think that the ring symbolizes everlasting love because the ring, being in the shape of a circle, has no beginning and no end. What a crock. While it’s true the ring has the shape of a circle, the ring is actually meant to represent the letter “O,” as in Ownership.

Traditionally, the wedding was the day the groom purchased the wife from the wife’s family. In medieval times, the transaction was completed at auction. The auction is mimicked in modern weddings by the wedding “celebration” with the celebrant of the wedding ceremony playing the role of the auctioneer.

Now, when I purchased Beth at our wedddlkahjroti 4q[oiewoiq o[p# …

…

Brent’s blogging privileges have been revoked for the foreseeable future. This talk of ownership is clearly the last straw. I looked past the excessive use of wikipedia and the delusional states of being, but I am afraid I cannot look past this. In the previous post I was portrayed as Brent’s butler and now I am his ‘possession’. Brent may or may not return to the Idiossey pending the results of a psychiatric evaluation.

Nevertheless, congratulations to all of our friends planning nuptials this year. Remember, many marital problems can be avoided by discussing basic issues like, I don’t know, the meaning of marriage, long before walking down the aisle. Take it from me.