34

I am 34 today. On first impression, being 34 is worse than being 22 but better than being 40. At least I assume it is ... I've been 22 but can't say that I have been 40. I'm not even half-way to 40 (if you count from 30). See how great math is. It is alarming that, after Beth's birthday extravaganza and some M&M cookies that appeared out of nowhere, my waistline also appears to be 34.

If this keeps up, I'm not really going to enjoy 60 ... if I make it that far.

Postscript: I've adopted a strict constructionist approach to my earlier no beer vow (it is, like the Constitution, a living document). Accordingly, to give effect to the pith and substance of the vow, the vow is construed to mean no English or European beer allowed. However, North American beer, specifically including American beer, is allowed.

Hello Anchor Steam. Where have you been all my life?